Social Media and the Decline of Real Communication
Social media is used by around 40% of the world’s population (3 billion people) for an average of 2 hours each day (Brown, 2018). Simply put, engaging with each other through online media has become such a daily routine that you’ll be hard pressed to find people who don’t have their heads down using their cell phones to text or tweet. However, by choosing to instead primarily interact with others through social media, teens are missing out on learning valuable social-emotional skills gained through face-to-face interactions, are susceptible to cyberbullying, and prone to anxieties (such as self-esteem issues) conflated in an artificial world.
Because 75% of teenagers in the US own a cellphone, text messaging and social media have become their preferred method of communication simply because of its convenience (Fuller, 2015). However, by choosing to communicate through social media, teens are missing out on important social skills. According to Fuller, when we communicate face-to-face we convey social information by vocal and visual cues in the context of the situation (2015). We also learn the importance of nonverbal communication, which includes facial expressions, eye contact, tone of voice, posture, space, etc. Understanding these nonverbal cues is crucial because we often have to modify our behavior in response to others in social situations. For instance, a teen with social emotional skills will know how to react to a friend sharing bad news with them — by comforting them, lowering their gaze — versus a teen without those skills, who will not know how to react, thus creating an awkward situation. Thus, when teenagers use digital communication extensively, it can curtail the face-to-face experiences necessary for them to develop important social skills.
Face-to-face communication is also crucial when teaching children about how to interact with the world around them. Children learn from cues (e.g. eye contact and pointing) when interacting socially (Fuller, 2015). Children essentially acquire skills and learn behavior from other adults or peers; so without those in-person peer interactions, they are unable to imitate model behavior. In a 2003 study based on the “video deficit” — the loss of social skills as a result of increased screen time — models performed a series of actions with stuffed animals in front of children. Although children imitated both the in-person and videotaped models that appeared before them, their imitation scores were significantly higher in the live condition (Hayne, Herbert, & Simcock, 2003). In a separate 2014 study, a group of children spent 5 days in a camp without access to any screen based or electronic communication, versus a control group that was allowed to stay home with their electronic devices. The children who were essentially forced to engage with each other in-person at the camp improved significantly in terms of reading facial emotions while the control group’s skills remained the same (Uhls et al., 2014). The results of both studies suggest that digital screen time is not a substitute for social interactions; it reduces the time children spend developing skills to read non-verbal emotional cues.
In addition to losing the valuable skills learned through face-to-face communications, social media deters our ability to hold meaningful conversations. People have become addicted to their devices and there is often a fear of “missing out” that keeps us constantly checking our social media pages or text messages for updates. As a matter of fact, a distressing 62% of people admitted to using gadgets while they were out with others (Hanke, 2018). Because of the constant urge to stay connected, people no longer have a clue on how to hold a conversation. For some, pulling out their phones in a social setting serves as a distraction, or something to keep them from actually having to talk with others.
The inability of social media users to hold meaningful conversations demonstrates that while social media is a convenient way of communicating, it lessens the quality of the connection. According to Maura Keller of Social Work Today, interactions on social media tend to be weak ties — we don’t feel personally connected to people on the other side of the screen (2013). Oftentimes communicating through social media is quick and spontaneous which also forces users to change their communication etiquette. People too often will say what comes to their minds without thinking about how the receiver will interpret their tone. Additionally, on social media sites such as twitter, comments are limited to one or two sentences, which means that while messages are kept short and sweet, it’s done at the expense of quality dialogue (Hanke, 2018). By the way turns into “btw,” be right back becomes “brb,” and so forth. Essentially, social media requires users to change their speech so that it’s short and often grammatically incorrect. Acronyms and abbreviations have become commonplace.
And lastly, social media can promote negative behavior. When people view posts they disagree with, they become more empowered in expressing their anger in the comments section. Healthline states that people are more compelled to express their outrage and anger online because they feel protected; they are hiding behind a screen so their identities are hidden (2018). Without consequences for their online behavior, the line between free speech and hate speech becomes blurred: people become cyber bullies. Furthermore, cyberbullying is often more emotionally devastating for the victim because there is no escape and the insults hurled at them remain in the public domain. In a real life bullying event, the person being bullied can remove themselves from the situation (e.g. children walking away from the playground bully). However, cyberbullying is persistent in that the messages will follow you anywhere you go and if you simply block the opposing user, they can just create new profiles to attack you with (Keller, 2018). Consequently, the bullying’s effect can continue to hurt an individual over time, often leading to dire outcomes such as depression, anxiety, or worst, suicide. Digital interactions exacerbate bullying because they encourage aggressive behavior without consequences.
Thus, social media is a convenient way of communicating that keeps billions of people communicated across the globe. With just one click on an iphone, users can interact with someone halfway across the world, it’s as simple as liking an instagram post! As a matter of fact, conversing digitally has become the preferred method of communication for 74% of millennials (Hanke, 2018). However in relying on social media to communicate, the quality of our connections has diminished. Social media users are not developing important social emotional skills earned through face-to-face interactions. They are also no longer able to hold conversations with others without glaring down on their phones due to the culture of instant gratification created by staying connected. This over reliance on social media to communicate has also hurt our grammar, as we now rely on acronyms and abbreviations to send short but meaningless messages. And lastly, when hiding behind their screens, social media users often become cyber bullies, espousing their aggression at others without the fear of repercussions to the digital shield they hide behind. While social and digital media have their uses, we should take precautions in how much we use these forms of communication. People should take back control of their lives by leaving their phone behind while going out with friends or attending meetings, use apps to silence notifications on social media applications, or they should just use their phone for their intended purpose: call a friend instead of messaging them. There is no denying that social media has been helpful in keeping us connected, but oftentimes it brings out the worst in us, which is why users should redirect their attention to genuine conversations.
Works Cited
Brown, Jessica (2018). Is social media bad for you? The evidence and the unknowns. BBC Future. Retrieved from https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20180104-is-social-media-bad-for-you-the-evidence-and-the-unknowns.
Chesak, J (2018). Social Media Is Killing Your Friendships. Healthline. Retrieved from https://www.healthline.com/health/how-social-media-is-ruining-relationships
Fuller, Ryan (2015). The Impact of Social Media Use on Social Skills. New York Behavioral Health. Retrieved from https://www.newyorkbehavioralhealth.com/the-impact-of-social-media-use-on-social-skills/.
Hanke, Stacy (2018). How Social Media Affects Our Ability to Communicate. Thrive Global. Retrieved from https://thriveglobal.com/stories/how-social-media-affects-our-ability-to-communicate/.
Keller, Maura (2013). Social Media and Interpersonal Communication. Social WorkToday, Great Valley Publishing Company. Retrieved from https://www.socialworktoday.com/archive/051313p10.shtml.
